Not sure if this is the right category to post in but i need help
State involved is Ca, however i am in Wa
little history, my mother passed away from severe cirrosis(sp?) due to chronic long term alcoholism about 7 months ago. MY father is a veteran, disabled and for the most part bed ridden unless someone puts him in his scooter chain. HE is also an alcoholic but beer and not liquor so he thinks it ok. He was admitted into a va hospital last night due to medical conditions like anal bleeding glucose levels over 500 and checked himself out less than 24 hrs against medical advice. He is paranoid of everyone around him and pretty much hates anyone trying to help, only wants those around who buy his beer and condone his behavior. I am treading on thin ice and trying to keep peace with him to prevent him hating me and never talking to me again, im afraid he will die soon and do not want him hating me before then. He has lied to everyone around him about his medical problems the only way i know is due to me calling his dr today however they cannot give me more info because my father told them no one is allowed to have his information. THe nurse mentioned they were sending someone out to his house to investigate elderly abuse however several people i have talked to said it was just a threat, also my dad talked to them and said he wasnt abuse and doesnt want them out there. I know he is not being abused however he is abusing himself. Defecating in his bed and laying in it for several days, eating maybe one meal a day or less, drinking only beer and nothing else, and abusing his RX pain meds to where he goes through a months supply in two wks. I want to call adult protective services for his own safety but dont know what to say and i do not under any circumstances want my father knowing it was me, i would never forgive myself if he wont talk to me. He does not want to take his own life however has told me he does want to die to go be with my mom, but that he would never hurt himself. We suspect he has colon cancer but cannot get information about this. No one has medical power of attorney, however he mentions he wants me to have it but right now hasnt taken the steps to get it done, any options or advice would be appreciated. I did call the VA crisis center and they directed me to caregiver support which did nothing since he has no caregiver and refuses to have one.