Welcome back to Judge Carton Rules, where a fake judge issues rulings to spare the parties to cases in which the outcomes are obvious the time and expense of further litigation. There is just one case on today's docket. We now join the proceedings live as Judge Carton issues his ruling: Judge Carton: For the record, here are the facts as reported here: Plaintiff and defendant are residents of a trailer park in Dayton, Ohio and were once Girlfriend and Boyfriend, respectively. Boyfriend, who is a tattoo artist, learned that Girlfriend cheated on him with a longtime friend of his. Sometime after Boyfriend learned that Girlfriend cheated on him, Girlfriend asked Boyfriend to "tattoo a scene from Narnia on her back." Prior to creating the tattoo, Boyfriend and Girlfriend drank wine and did tequila shots, and Boyfriend had Girlfriend sign a consent form stating that the design of the tattoo was "at the artists discretion." Boyfriend then created a tattoo on Girlfriend's back, as shown in this photo marked and introduced into evidence as Exhibit A: The court takes judicial notice of the fact that the tattoo in no way shows "Narnia" but rather is a large pile of feces...

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